among other things

today you'll find me answering phones at the scaffold works inc., among other things.






i will pay close attention to where i can afford to be generous and where i let others take too much. this is my responsibility. sometimes i cannot tell the differences between reasons why people chose to spend time on me. i know it's all for different reasons.

i can't help but always worry that something about me will push everyone away...this mysterious flaw that i haven't figured out.

i am running out of so many things but i am so hopeful for the future. everything is ok. better even.

fashioned out of brand new strife

moving back to san jose with weird ideas.

i haven't even fully moved out yet and already: my mom's been taken to the hospital twice and went to a ridiculous court hearing, i've had prospects of starting a business, ideas of going back to school, another arguous job hunt, a day long hospital visit.

today my brain is empty, i went to court with my mom, cleaned her house and walked her dogs. i try not to focus on the way things could be better, i try to focus on working towards the better.

it's hard when my efforts are combated by more drinking and smoking and destruction, especially when i haven't fully arrived yet.

this is gonna be hard.