overcoming fitness

somedays i feel more obliged than others, thats just how i am made. i feel constraints beyond my means and i see no part of the immideate that can service my ability to always be unrelatable.

somedays i feel more starry, more dizzy, more like i did the first time i met everbody. i can't ever discribe what goes on inside my heart but i know it's a good thing, usually.

the shoe fitting is not the case, and i never want it to be the case. i know what i want and when i want it, i trust myself enough to know how to react now, to know that there is nothing in my make-up that dictates my ability to "relate". i can do whatever i like and it's not my problem who "gets me" and who doesn't, who's "figured me out" and who hasn't.

for a while i was looking for a place to fit and to stay forever. i'm not anymore. it's a lie, it doesn't exist.

now i know.

i cannot make my home out of another turtle's shell.