oh my gosh you feel so many things but who's ever gonna know if you can't show it, christine

i've been thinking a lot about living by myself.

i'd probably have to move to another city to do that though. somewhere much cheaper. i like living with a lot of people becaus etheres always someone around but someday, i'd love to live with just myself, and maybe a good pet or one other close person (but i think i'd have to work up to that when i learn how to take care of myself better).

i feel like these songs aren't sounding right and it's frustrating. i listened to the collection i made last summer and i cringed. why doesn't anyone tell me i suck...

i'm in hermit mode and i just wanna work, record, go to shows and mostly be by myself. when this happens i kind of forget how to talk to people. i don't really wanna go to bars, parties, and large gatherings (most of the time). i don't wanna talk on the phone, catch-up, talk things out. i don't wanna spend energy mending broken things or faining introductions. i just want to work until it's done but i'm going at a snails pace and it's so hard to be ok with it.

so, hopefully i'll have kept my friends when i decide to be normally social again.