natural disaster

missy you rock me

TRUEsday

feel me

Is it possible to love something too much?

Bleh

It doesn't matter what you do or what you say, she'll go anyway, she'll go anyway. Aren't you surprised she stayed for as long as she stayed? Too little too late, too little too late. And now you'll wonder where she is, what she wanted and what you did.

It never matter what she did or what she said, you could never listen you could never listen. Aren't you surprised she stayed for as long as she stayed? Watched the colors fade, watched all the colors fade. It all looked brighter in her head, what she wanted was what she'd give.

This is yr life

Get used to


It

Stops and Starts

Stop:
A. Saying you're sorry

B. Self loathing

C. Wasting time

Start:
A. Providing for yourself

B. Loving no matter what

C. Growing in the ways you want

All We Know Is Monsters

I'm supposed to make things, I want to write melodies forever.

Quite desperation

You are an achiever, you work too much and you see many things you dream up come into fluition. You feel under-recognized...

In yr spare time you like to roam the Internet, looking at porn when yr girlfriend does not suffice and thinking about what could have been with the girls you've only fucked and never admittedly felt anything for. You trust yr friends and dont mind yr coworkers.

You want so many things all at once, it makes yr head hurt.

You want to get rid of yr body, you don't like that it reminds you of a insufficient history, you don't like to be weak.

You have tendancies to over rationalize and it hurts others' feelings, you are very stubborn.

When you are finished with something, you are completely done.

Please stop

When yr dumb you give me a headache

I loved you then as I love you still

I think Fred Perry design now is pretty boring.

Headache

In my most complete dream I would have the answer you want to hear. I could make something you'd know you would want so that when you are asked you can know, with certainty, that this is what you want.

But the curse is this: you will never know what you want. You will wander forever with why. You will always want to do and undo and redo inside yr head and never once will you look up at me and read me clearly. Never once will you want something if it isn't for you

anatomy of aspiration

Yes I'll keep you just to throw myself away

miss Christine

Standing still feels just like going backwards to me.

:)

among other things

today you'll find me answering phones at the scaffold works inc., among other things.






i will pay close attention to where i can afford to be generous and where i let others take too much. this is my responsibility. sometimes i cannot tell the differences between reasons why people chose to spend time on me. i know it's all for different reasons.

i can't help but always worry that something about me will push everyone away...this mysterious flaw that i haven't figured out.

i am running out of so many things but i am so hopeful for the future. everything is ok. better even.

fashioned out of brand new strife

moving back to san jose with weird ideas.

i haven't even fully moved out yet and already: my mom's been taken to the hospital twice and went to a ridiculous court hearing, i've had prospects of starting a business, ideas of going back to school, another arguous job hunt, a day long hospital visit.

today my brain is empty, i went to court with my mom, cleaned her house and walked her dogs. i try not to focus on the way things could be better, i try to focus on working towards the better.

it's hard when my efforts are combated by more drinking and smoking and destruction, especially when i haven't fully arrived yet.

this is gonna be hard.

cute!

swallow

i want to stop feeling like everything is falling apart, i'm tired of it