i will always feel inadequate.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
is what it is
i'm working three 11 hour days this week. but this kind of work is so slow. while i'm waiting for the paloma to wake up from her nap so that we can take a walk (it's finally sunny!) i am writing this blog, making a list of important things to do, listening to old stuff that reminds me of still living in san jose, and trying to learn more about small business.
small business: makes me think about this friend i had in high school, kendall. she was a cheerleader and pretty in the way that those girls in high school are (boys were into it in that way they thought they had to be). she always dated the lamest idiots tho, and her parents had a really nice, art deco house with a pool, pool table, colorful artsy furniture and lots of good food. her mom would get really drunk and fall in love with everyone and her step dad thought he was still 25. i used to go to her house and download music on her computer, eat fancy leftovers and sometimes she'd come with me to shows because she was nice to me even though i hated myself and didn't drink or like parties. anyways...small business reminds me of her because she's going to school for business. she wanted to own a hotel. now, at the time i thought it was a weird idea for a 17 year old to have, but she was such a smarty.
last night after work, i went home and tried to work on a song i've been writing on theo's 4track. it's kinda about how i think everyone is better than me and also about my inability to stand up for myself in most of my close relationships. its gonna be gooooood (which by my standards is pretty alright). business is all about exploiting the assets of others' as well as yr own and i consider some of my shortcomings assets for the experience of learning.
songs that remind me of san jose:
when hearts turn blue- calvin johnson feat. mirah
hallah- mazzy star
ageless beauty- stars
loose- dear nora
whichever way the wind blows- dear nora
fuck treasure island- scout nibblet
i walk alone- mecca normal
my favorite chords- the weakerthans
as it is- klang
and other gay shit that i can't name cuz the babys up. to be continued, i guess if i get around to it....
small business: makes me think about this friend i had in high school, kendall. she was a cheerleader and pretty in the way that those girls in high school are (boys were into it in that way they thought they had to be). she always dated the lamest idiots tho, and her parents had a really nice, art deco house with a pool, pool table, colorful artsy furniture and lots of good food. her mom would get really drunk and fall in love with everyone and her step dad thought he was still 25. i used to go to her house and download music on her computer, eat fancy leftovers and sometimes she'd come with me to shows because she was nice to me even though i hated myself and didn't drink or like parties. anyways...small business reminds me of her because she's going to school for business. she wanted to own a hotel. now, at the time i thought it was a weird idea for a 17 year old to have, but she was such a smarty.
last night after work, i went home and tried to work on a song i've been writing on theo's 4track. it's kinda about how i think everyone is better than me and also about my inability to stand up for myself in most of my close relationships. its gonna be gooooood (which by my standards is pretty alright). business is all about exploiting the assets of others' as well as yr own and i consider some of my shortcomings assets for the experience of learning.
songs that remind me of san jose:
when hearts turn blue- calvin johnson feat. mirah
hallah- mazzy star
ageless beauty- stars
loose- dear nora
whichever way the wind blows- dear nora
fuck treasure island- scout nibblet
i walk alone- mecca normal
my favorite chords- the weakerthans
as it is- klang
and other gay shit that i can't name cuz the babys up. to be continued, i guess if i get around to it....
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